Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Happy 2012, The End of the World

Yes, the end of the world is coming this year, so says the Mayan Calendar. Do I believe it? Naw. There's a pretty simple explanation for all this: The Mayans ended their Calendar in 2012 because they didn't want to make a Calendar THAT INCLUDED ALL OF FREAKIN ETERNITY!!! I mean, at some point one has to stop and say, I AM FREAKIN DONE CHISELING OUT THIS FREAKIN CALENDAR!!! Even though I expect this prediction to be just as relevant as the Y2K one, it makes one stop to ponder and re-assess their life. To look at the failures and successes of the past year, and to see how one can improve. I have never made a bucket list, only because half the things on there would take so much money, and it would require me to work another job, which I am NOT willing to do. There are only so many paper routes that can fit into an evening, and I've had enough crack house cleaning, bum wiping, and barrette painting to last a lifetime. My first inclination is to say that in 2012, I will finally lose the weight. At the very least so I can fit into the standard casket when the world ends. Wait, there will be no one left on the earth to put me IN the casket, so skip that one. But seriously, I hesitate to ever publicly say I am going to lose the weight, because when you fail, everyone once again thinks you are a HUGE knucklehead for ever announcing it. Or better yet, earn the title of the biggest LOSER by gaining it all back. So, it suffices to say . . . I'm going to try to be happy with who I am, whatever that may be. And if I lose some weight along the way, well better yet. A wedding with family photos is always a good motivator. Randee is marrying Adam's brother Spencer on March 30th, so I'm going to have to approach this with "Biggest Loser" gusto. (As in the show). Oh, I am capable of dumping weight FAST, (I have done it hundreds of times) but the price is losing all my hair. Please try to spare my feelings when you come through the reception line . . . its okay to notice I am wearing a wig, but act like you think it looks marvelous, instead of poking your spouse, and whispering out of the corner of your mouth "Her wig looks like a mangy scrat". Hair Loss Club for Men never really cared whether we women had an ounce of self esteem left when our heads started looking like a cat with a bad case of ring worm.

Friday, June 11, 2010


Okay, so I am stealing Darcy's factiods. Just haven't done one of these in awhile, so thought it would be fun.

1 • Favorite computer program: I don't know about programs, but I refuse to give up AOL. Easy to navigate, and user friendly.

2 • Car you loved the most: I pewter grey Honda Accord that we bought when we lived in Gresham, OR. Its the only brand new car we've purchased in our marriage.

3 • Snack of choice while watching a movie: Buttered popcorn with Reeses Pieces sprinkled into it. To die for, literally.

4 • Best thing you ever wrote: I've written quite a few works of poetry that I am very proud of . . . some that I have never shared.

5 • Your decorating style: I would call it Modern Tuscan. I don't decorate according to what is "IN" at the moment. I just create what I like. I have always marched to the beat of a different drum.

6 • Last book you read: As you all know, I don't read. The only book I remember reading and liking is ALIVE. Best story of survival and courage that I know of.

7 • Last thing you regret eating: Everything I ate yesterday . . .and the day before . . . and the day before that.

8 • Exercise of choice: Treadmill. Only walking, not running. I am not ready for the heart attack yet.

9 • Code you live by: "TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE".

10 • Most attractive feature: Same as Darcy . . .my eyes. Luckily, my girls got mine, but better.

11 • Favorite cooking tool: My electric grittle. I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich. Ask Randee.

12 • Essential beauty item: These days its Carmex. My lips are always dry.

13 • I make a killer: Lemon Meringue Pie.

14 • Don’t ask me to: do anything spur of the moment, go to the condos, wear a swimsuit, wear color, give up chocolate, sit through a multi-level presentation or sales pitch . . . Too many things to list.

15 • Get out of my way when: I need sleep, or when you mess up my house and expect me to be your maid.

16 • Someday I will: have willpower, be at my ideal weight, sing again, travel to far away places, read the standard works.

17 Was the best time of my life and I didn’t even know it: Probably my thirties. Its the last time I remember feeling pretty. I hardly remember them though because I was busy raising children.

Friday, January 29, 2010

K is for . . .

K is for KARMA. Always comes back to bite you somehow. Mostly we hear about how doing bad deeds gives a person bad karma. It has been adversely referred to as. . .well . . .a bitch. But good karma can find you too based on the good you put out there in this world. We have been so blessed this past couple of years. Even with two substantial paycuts, blessings seem to shower upon us like manna from heaven to hold us through. We are well, and have wonderful kids and grandkids that bring us great joy. What did we do to deserve all this? I have no idea. All I can say is we try to do what we can, when we can. K is for KRISTEN, my hot babe of a sister. We confide in each other, we laugh, we fight, and we lean on each other for support. I love you baby girl. So proud of you for hanging in there, and for making the changes to be all that you can be! And lastly, K is for KAKORRHAPHIOPHOBIA. For those of you who don't know the word, it means fear of failure. If you were successful in pronouncing it, you probably don't have it. I am pretty sure I do, as I am a perfectionist of sorts, but never quite seem to make the mark. Theodore Roosevelt once said: "It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." Genious.